Fly the Unfriendly Skies

I blast off the sub-orbital carrier, straight into hyperspace, and emerge seconds later after breaking through the planet's atmosphere. Like Stansfield, in "The Professional," I relish these calm little moments before the storm, allowing the gravity to take me through the clouds, lazily free-falling The Paw (my ship) almost all the way to the ground. The sky is red, the sand is yellow, and I am about to rock this world.


I never got to actually play the first "SPAZ" ("Space Pirates and Zombies"); it never wanted to cooperate with my multiple monitors on Linux. It hurt my emotional parts to be excluded from a game that the majority of the Interweb-speaking peoples of the world widely regarded as (to use their slang) "rad." Damned beatniks... but I digress.

The War In The Air

 Versatility is the name of the game on a bomber; each crewmemebecrewmemeber has to be able to handle the complex and unique tasks associated with their primary role, while also being basically familiar with the core competencies associated with every other crewmember's job. The real genius of "Bomber Crew" is that it forces the player to deal with the actual crew instead of their posts; this brings to life the endless juggling act inherit to strategic bombing.

Road Rash Redeemed

I am screaming across a snowy mountain pass, treacherous not just for it's curves, but for the rival biker gang that owns this territory: The Sigmas. As much machine as biologic, their power shields make taking them out with melee weapons a damaging two-step process.

Save You Till It Hurts

 I'm not sure yet if "Jettomero: Hero of the Universe" ($12.99, Steam Store, Ghost Time Games) manages to meet-or-exceed the absurdly high bar that it's visual style and overall aesthetic sets, but, please - for the love of the medium of the game itself - buy it.

Say that to my face, pin-beak...

 It's impossible for any fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 to not fondly recall the episode in which Joel and the Bots eviscerate the hyper-violent, tone-deaf, nihilistic love-letter to anti-continuity, "The Gunslinger."

Zangeki Warp is Astro Port's Finest Effort Yet

Astro Port is an awesome developer.

Focusing exclusively on new 2D-shooters incorporating the best play mechanics from 1990s-era SNES shooters, the company (is it a he/she/them/it - no English speaker has lived to tell the tale of the seemingly-Japanese developer) builds fantastic games. No title is too obscure for Astro Port to re-envision: provided that it was one of the best games of the 2D shooter genres, they will design a game inspired by it.

Super Hole Week Ender

Editor's Note:In keeping with a long-standing tradition, games critic and entertainment writer Seth "Fingers" Flynn Barkan always finds the most exciting stories as alternates to the Super Bowl. Last year, while writing for the now-defunct SlantNews service, he made a rebound-touchdown with his coverage of James Murray's birthday, incontestably proving that the pen is mightier than the jock-strap, and will always win - because Good is dumb.

Not A Complete Disaster

Any fan of "Cities Skylines" will tell you that the game's central qualities lie in the ways in which makes super complicated aspects of civil engineering and civic planning seem (on the surface) impossibly simple.

Ninja-on-Ninja Deathmatch of Ultimate Power

This week, we bring you two absolutely superior sidescrolling ninja experiences ready, waiting, and available to be injected into your face using your Linux box. This has left the world with one chilling challenge: which is the game that they should be playing? Here, now, we give you the answers.

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